Brand New Eyes: The Diary of Jasmine Reider
by BA17
Summary: 26-year-old Jasmine has had a troubled life. To keep everything she experiences preserved, she writes it down in her diary. Public eyes allowed.
1. All We Know Is Falling

**Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes. :/ **

**I do, however, own Jasmine Reider & Alexander McCollet. **

**But, I don't own Twila Parker either. XD She belongs to SaberProductions from 9****th**** Wonders. Saber gave me permission to use Twila. So, yah. **

**And also (yes, there's many also's), I do not own Matthew O'Loughlin or Jace Grayer. Those characters belong to DreamerBoy from 9****th**** Wonders.**

**-Stupid declaimer technicalities over-

* * *

**

**Entry #1 – 1:34 AM**

So, apparently, I got a new diary since my old one is filled.

I'm not even going to write that dear diary crap. It's a waste of time.

Anyway, moving on. Topic of the moment?

Love.

Love sucks. Period.  
You know how people say that your true love is out there and you just have to find that one special person?  
And how your one true love is supposed to be the one that starts up a flame inside of you, the one that makes you smile by just saying a simple "hello"?

So, here's where my story starts. Trenton, New Jersey - my hometown.  
Well, I found my true love. Or so I had thought. I found my "soul-mate", knight in shining armor. And you know what? I blew my chance. I pushed and tried to see how far I could go and still get away with being a rebellious teenager. My "soul-mate" - boyfriend at the time - didn't like that. He disapproved of how I was breaking any rule that was set for me. Then he broke my heart.

That was about 6 years ago during my junior year of high school. I thought I had it horrible back in high school when Alexander David McCollet became my best-childhood-friend-turned-boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-friend-again. I had thought that my whole complicated relationship with Alex was the end of any drama involving him. Oh, no. I was wrong.

Fast-forward two years. I moved to Denton, Texas (by myself, mind you, no family following), became a freshman in college, and had a dormmate named Twila Parker. Twila & I became great friends over our four years at college. During that same freshman year, I met Matthew Ross O'Loughlin. I only thought of him as a friend until a year later when we started dating. And then we had to break up when I left Texas to go back to Trenton. It was unfair since I had this tiny little feeling that Matthew was the one. But that's what I had told myself with Alex and I had been wrong that time.

Alright. Fast-forward another five years and I moved back to Trenton after graduating college. Twila tagged along and left Texas. I still haven't asked her why she followed me, though. Anyway, back in Trenton, I don't know why but I set up Alex and Twila. I played matchmaker with them. And you know what? It freaking worked.

Twila and Alex became a couple. I didn't exactly get a chance to be happy for them or anything like that because I died. I'm not even going to try to explain. But main idea was that I got stabbed, died, and got revived by Matthew (who moved to Trenton to be with me.. without me noticing...) and Adam - my older twin brother.

Once again, fast-forward a few months. February 14th of 2009. Matthew and I got married and somehow, I just knew that he was my soulmate. Yeah, this is the part where you're supposed to be saying "awwwww, that's so cute". Please, spare me the drama. Anyway, about half a year about me and Matthew getting married, I revealed my being alive (I was living under the false identity of Jessica Riden and everybody I used to know thought I was inside of a coffin 6 feet under the ground) to Twila and Alex... who apparently had gotten engaged about half an hour before I showed up at their house. So much for Alex being my soulmate.

So, that's a recap of my life from when it started going berserk in my high school junior year.

It's 1:46 AM and I'm about to pass out from whatever headache medicine I've been taking.

Oh, right. I forgot to introduce myself even if this is _my _diary.

My name is Jasmine Isabella Reider. I'm 26 years old and a successful musician. So, why am I writing in this diary?

Because I just need something to record down everything I've felt. Why I did what I did. Why I felt what I felt.

You'll get what I mean later.


	2. Pressure

**Limited_Empathy: O.o How is it funneh? I mean, I just used Twila's name in two sentences. _ That's not writing about her. XD But, there will be more of her in this chapter. And you'll probably scream/giggle when you find out what today's entry is. XD Oh, and also. How does Mrs. McCollet sound to you? :P Just kidding.**

**Anyhoo, onto the story.**

**Entry #2 – 6:29 AM**

Apparently, there's something about me waking up _really_ early. Because, I've just had about five hours of sleep and I wake up. That's not healthy for me.

Hm, what should today's topic be?

Oh, here's a fun one.

Jealousy.

Jealousy is a very natural emotion. Everybody has felt jealous in their life, even me. But here's the thing. I didn't know that I could be jealous of my own best friend. I had only set out to play matchmaker with her and Alex….. and I ended up making myself jealous.

Oh, nice job, Jasmine.

So, you know how in the last entry I mentioned that I set Twila and Alex up and they got married, right? Okay, here is a short timeline. I play matchmaker with Twila and Alex in 2007. I die in 2007. Twila and Alex stay a couple until 2010 when they get engaged/married. I get resurrected in 2009 and reveal my alive status to Mr. and Mrs. married couple in 2010.

Now, I don't have a problem with being jealous of Twila _after_ 2007. It was in 2007 that I envied Twila. Because Alex had been "my soul-mate". That's what I told myself, just repeated in my head everyday. I actually thought that being jealous of Twila was a petty thing. It would pass. I was very wrong.

I started showing signs. Dropping hints for her to pick up. Many times she asked me if anything was wrong. I would just stare at her and say, "Oh, no. Nothing's wrong." I knew she saw through my lie. She could always read me like that. But nevertheless, she didn't reveal that she knew my lie. And that was where the guilt came in.

All the guilt that came from secretly envying Twila behind her back… damn, that was a lot. Imagine a ton of bricks that suddenly fall on you. Now, imagine having to carry those bricks around for about another year. That's jealousy for you.

And what's worse is that I had these thoughts. Horrible thoughts. Plans that I mentally devised. One of those plans was to lie and tell Twila that Alex was cheating on her. Break them apart. Because I never meant to even put them together.

I hate myself right now.

I've done all these things.

I could have hurt my best friend.

All because of jealousy.

And I haven't even told Twila how I felt. What I could have done to her.

Hopefully, one day, I'll let her read this diary.

And I'll let her decide whether to forgive me or not.


End file.
